Troponin

I can't say too much about Madison's day at the moment, as my own day was rather momentous.  I started out in the tiny emergency observation room, waiting a next move.  I woke up thinking it'd be a cardiogram and a stress test, as those were the things that were mentioned.  The word of the day was troponin, which is an enzyme that is detected in the blood stream when there is damage to the heart.  My troponin levels were trending upwards, suggesting something big happened yesterday.  As the morning wore on, the decision was made to do something a little more intense:  a heart cath.  

A few weeks ago, I had two very vivid dreams that stuck with me, as some do.  They were more feeling dreams and just kept popping up in my memory afterwards.  One dream was of me going through a large mansion, being told it was mine, and being pleasantly surprised.  The other dream was of me actually dying.  This was before anything happened where I'm in the hospital now.  It was a nurse, casually putting a needle into my left arm and there being a bad reaction.  I started to fade away as everyone around started to panic, but I was at complete peace.

Imagine my thinking when a nurse was casually about to put that needle into my left arm this morning.  It was actually for the IV, so they could inject some blood thinner into my system.  At the last minute, he opted for the easier entry point, my wrist.  But that moment sort of changed everything from a strictly symbolic point.  Because I should pretty much be dead, I suppose.  Which is difficult to comprehend at this point, and quite an emotional thought.  I overtaxed my weak heart on Sunday, lifting some supplies for FCY - but that's what may have saved my life, really.  It brought a problem to light.

They moved me upstairs for the heart cath procedure, shaving my arms and elsewhere.  They've been putting these stickers on me all day for the EKG readings and later on a cardiogram.  The hard part is the pulling those stickers off, and pulling all the hair off too.  And the blood drawing... all the blood being drawn over and over again throughout the night.  It was just confirming there was a problem.

Can you believe I was fully conscious for the entire procedure?  I remember being a little fuzzy looking at the ceiling and seeing the ceiling move somewhat.  But I was listening to the radio with everyone, and inwardly amused that Guns n' Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" would be now forever associated with my heart procedure.  The doctors and nurses were talking during the procedure, and I remember at one point they were trying to figure who it was that was singing a particular song.  I told them "Pearl Jam."  I told them this while they were putting a stent in my heart.

I had a 99% blockage.  This is difficult to comprehend.  I feel as if everyone's prayers made all the difference in the world, and I'm not making this up.  We got hundreds of messages, and even Pastor Franklin called Mom to ask how I was doing. 

My dad showed up after the procedure, and we talked for a bit.  It was so good to see him.  The hospital only lets one person in at a time, and the situation as it is with Nana was such that Mom couldn't come by immediately.  She did come later though.  We embraced in the room, and there were many tears.  

I'm staying in the Cardiac Observation Unit.  I have my book, "Guards!  Guards!"  But also this laptop, and I was pouring over all the prayers for me.  Mom stayed for about an hour with me, the best she can do because of limited visiting hours.  It was so good to see her.  I miss her so much.

I miss Madison so much too.  Later on, I used the computer to do a video call to home, and once again, I read "Kingdom Keepers 2" to Madison from the hospital bed.  She was sitting in the place where I sleep in my bed, surrounded by the plush friends that always listen to me read.  I did the best I could - I got through two chapters, and after that we said our prayers.  I am so grateful for technology that allows me to connect like this, even after a heart procedure.  

The staff here has been so great.  Tonight, my night nurse and I somehow got on the topic of "Nightmare Before Christmas," and she was showing me her themed trunk or treat decorations, complete with a Christmas wreathe and a hanging Zero.  I told her about an episode of "Prop Culture," where voice actors and singers were reunited with the puppets and props, and so the two of us actually watched a good part of that episode.  It was just kind of funny, given the circumstances.

It was quite a day.  I'm nervous about the future, but we'll take it one day at a time.