Saturday, July 18, 2020

AromaDome


Welcome to the AromaDome!  I was trying it out a little bit today, as my lungs were still trying to recover from the recent illness that's been so pesky these last few days.  It's grown steadily less bothersome, but I've always had a nagging cough, so into the AromaDome I went!  Mommy set it up on the couch, and for about ten to fifteen minutes, I was in my own little atmosphere of tee tree oil, breathing in the rather fragrant atmosphere.  This is the closest I've been to camping in twenty years.

Earlier in the day we were making a few trips, among them a journey to the car wash!  Here's Madison, taking a selfie in the front seat in the middle of the car wash.


Madison was with Daddy for the colorful sudsy ride, and afterwards, the amazingly hot temperatures outside when we were trying to vacuum the car interior and clean it the best we could.  Such hard work deserved an ice cream, so Blizzards it was, and yes, Madison had her favorite, the cotton candy flavor.  Once again, Daddy tried the chocolate covered cherry blizzard, but I've pretty much given up on Dairy Queen ever making a decent Blizzard again.  The bottom fifty percent of this was just ice cream.  The top had some chocolate bits and cherry bits, but not much.  It was just a tease.  Dairy Queen, you've lost your ability to make Blizzards over time, as this new generation just doesn't know how to do it right.

Speaking of this new generation, Riverstone Plantation had the laziest pool life guards in the history of life guards tonight.  They just didn't want to work.  Up until now, we've had the greatest lifeguards here at Riverstone Plantation.  But these two tonight were so amazingly lazy, that I'm going to spend the next two paragraphs describing their epic laziness, and I think I'll write a short play about it too.

There were families out there waiting, and they said they heard thunder, which they did - about a half-hour ago at five thirty-five.  So they waited over an hour from that point.  And they knew they had families out there, waiting.  There was no thunder.  There was no rain.  For an hour.  There were just two lazy life guards.  They knew there was a storm south of us, and I guess they were hoping it would come up sooner and shut everything down so they didn't have to work.  But it never happened.  Despite this, they closed everything down, and again everything was fine.  No rain.  No thunder.  For over an hour.  These lazy lifeguards said this so that they could "make the call that everything was safe," and while doing that, visit with friends who dropped by to show off a new kitten.  Yes, they spent much of this time waiting talking with friends that dropped by about a new kitten.  Eventually, at the six thirty-five minute mark, they decided to let us in finally with the disclaimer that there's a storm coming, and we'll have to get out anyway.  But even before that, they made the joke that they'd have to take a life-guard break in ten minutes anyway.  So we knew we were doomed.  But we'd been waiting for so long, and listening to their wonderful stories about kittens.  And all that time, they didn't let anyone swim, and again, there was no thunder and no rain.  Again, for at an hour.  So yeah, the thunder did come, and it did come not too long after we went into the pool, and there was this "I told you so" sort of thing going on, but at the same time, we could have been swimming for twenty minutes or more before that, if we went by those official life guard rules (that apparently got tossed out the window).  But the life guard rules tonight were:  "I don't want to actually do anything but visit with my friends and their cats."  If you do an internet search for lazy lifeguards, I think you'll discover Riverstone Plantation pool lifeguards, as these two are so amazingly gifted at being lazy that all other lazy teenager lifeguards should come here just to take lessons on how to avoid doing any work at all.  It took actually a lot of work to be this lazy.

Annoyed, we left to go home and watch Ghost Rider burn up some people.  I'm not sure if Ghost Rider is willing to avenge us of lazy life guards, and I certainly wouldn't want him to toast anyone.  But maybe he can appear soon, right when the pool is closing up.

*****************

LAZY LIFEGUARDS, after another visit from friends with a cat, starts picking up things from table near entrance to pool.  They're happy they drove everyone away.  Suddenly, there's a noise that spooks them.

LAZY LIFEGUARD 1:  "Who's there?"

LAZY LIFEGUARD 2:  "I think that was thunder."

LAZY LIFEGUARD 1:  "No, it was a car I'm pretty sure.  That car right there in the parking lot."

LAZY LIFEGUARDS see DARK FIGURE get out of a Dodge Charger.  He walks up to the fence.

LAZY LIFEGUARD 2:  "I'm sorry, we're closed.  We heard thunder."

LAZY LIFEGUARD 1:  "But that wasn't thunder.  That was a car."

LAZY LIFEGUARD 2:  "Shhh.  It was thunder, remember?  We don't want to actually do anything."

LAZY LIFEGUARD 1:  "Oh.  Sorry.  Yes, that was thunder."

GHOST RIDER's flaming skull lights up, startling LAZY LIFEGUARD 1 and 2.

GHOST RIDER:  "I am here to avenge the souls of children longing to quench themselves of summer's fiery heat in the lukewarm pools of this hallowed sanctuary."

LAZY LIFEGUARD 2:  "?"

LAZY LIFEGUARD 1:  "We heard just heard thunder.  Sorry."

LAZY LIFEGUARD 2:  "We're closed."

GHOST RIDER:  "Your souls are stained with the vile crime of denying children their heavily chlorinated waters of refreshment."

LAZY LIFEGUARD 1 and 2:  "?"

LAZY LIFEGUARD 2:  "Do you have a pool pass?"

GHOST RIDER:  "I only carry with me the Spirit of Vengeance, and the the withering power of the Penance Stare, a gaze you so richly deserve for your heinous crimes."

LAZY LIFEGUARD 2:  "Okay, is this Billy?  Because if it is, this is not funny anymore."

GHOST RIDER throws his burning chain at portion of pool's fence, melting a substantial portion of it as he walks through.  LAZY LIFEGUARDS 1 and 2 scream.  LAZY LIFEGUARD 2 steps backwards, and falls into the pool.  LAZY LIFEGUARD 1 attempts to run, accidentally knocking over a table he never bothered to wipe off.

GHOST RIDER picks up a nearby beach ball, and transforms it into a Flaming Beach Ball of Vengeance.  GHOST RIDER tosses it at LAZY LIFEGUARD 1, just as he reaches the corner of the pool.  The Flaming Beach Ball of Vengeance knocks him over and into the pool, alongside LAZY LIFEGUARD 2.

GHOST RIDER:  "The Flaming Beach Ball of Vengeance has sought out your guilty souls.  And now you must pay for your evil deeds."

LAZY LIFEGUARDS 1:  "Help us!  Somebody help us!  There's this crazy flaming skull guy here!"

LAZY LIFEGUARD 2:  "And I heard thunder!"

GHOST RIDER:  "The only sound you'll hear now is your screams of terror as a special judgment rains down upon you, one only reserved for ignoble guardians of sacred pool water, charged with guiding children safely to a place of peace and serenity, only to deny them that cherished right because of your repugnant indolence."

PAUSE

LAZY LIFEGUARD 1:  "What?"

GHOST RIDER:  "Prepare yourselves for the Cannonball of Doom!"

LAZY LIFEGUARDS 1 and 2:  "NOOOOOO!"

GHOST RIDER backs up a few steps, and then charges forward, leaping in the air, while tucking into a cannonball as he soars through the air towards the pool.

GHOST RIDER:  "CANNONBALL!"

Not far off, a few children are playing UNO at home, disappointed they couldn't swim that much today because of some lazy lifeguards.  Suddenly, they hear a huge noise, a FWOOM!  It is so loud, it shakes the house.  A deluge of water suddenly descends all around their home, landing on their roof and pouring over the rain gutters.

CHILD 1:  "What was that noise?"

CHILD 2:  "Well, I guess they were right.  It was thunder."

***************

Okay, anyway, moving on, as you can tell, tonight we started season four of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and it featured the appearance of Ghost Rider himself, although this time in the form of Robbie Reyes.  Again, we've seen these before, but this was the first time for Madison, and she enjoyed the episodes as always.  She's comparing Ghost Rider to Lash right now, and that's a fair comparison.  But as the season goes on, she'll see some more significant differences.

Tonight, Mommy used the gluten-free pizza crusts we got, and the pizza sauce, and she made these incredible pizzas with onions and grilled chicken slices.  It was such a great and filling meal!

Madison worked on her piano today, and tonight after watching a few episodes, we sat down to read the final book in our trilogy, one called "Wings."  We got through chapter one, and already we know it's going to be a fun book.  There were moments the girls were laughing out loud.

We prayed tonight, prayed for good health for us and our friends.  It's a strange time we're living in, one where personal freedoms are being challenged by the threat of an unseen plague that science doesn't seem to have a handle on.  Conspiracy theories abound, as do accusations and frenzied arguments.  It's an election year, so that could be the reason that things are heightened.  Whatever it is, it's not a great time to turn on any news.  It doesn't matter anyway, as a lot of news is propaganda for one side or another.  And most of it is negative anyway.  It's a good time to just put on some music, and try to put on a garment of praise.  Bad things are all around, and it's easy to become lost in that.  The best strategy is to ignore it all, and not focus so much on it.

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