Hospice

It was moving day for Nana, which basically means she was leaving the hospital at last and now heading back to her residence at Manor Lake.  It was a risky move.  Mom went with her inside the ambulance, and the staff was ready for anything, which primarily meant any kind of situation with her heart rate.  It climbs ferociously when she attempts to do anything strenuous.  But she did arrive safely, and that was a blessing for all of us. 

Earlier in the day, Mom and I were disassembling her room, taking apart that bed she had and making room for her new hospice bed, and putting out the oxygen machine and the tank as well, getting things lined up for her.  Unfortunately, that oxygen machine would be a miserable thing, screaming constantly every three minutes or so.  The only reason it stopped was because we'd turn it off, and then on again.  Then three minutes later, it starts screaming so loud they can hear it down the hallway.  All.  Night.  Long. Poor Nana didn't get any sleep at all - just increments of roughly three minutes or so.  The hospice care unit sent a bad unit to us, and it took them to the next afternoon to get us a new, more quiet version.  Unfortunately, she needs that oxygen, as she clearly struggles to breath a bit without it.  Simultaneously, it dries out her mouth - and she's not drinking or eating much at all.  She just had surgery a week ago, so that's understandable.  She's gotten visits from a friend down the hall, and that has been encouraging and maybe even uplifting for Nana.  But she is weak, uncomfortable, thin, and pretty tired.  We did get her some new pajamas today, stopping by a few places before finding a good pair that should work for her.  After a week in hospital gowns, a nice pair of comfortable pajamas should help.

Hospice.  It's an interesting word to me, as it suggests finality and yet everyone's biology and situations sort of determine what happens next.  Mom has this handbook they've given her, and it talks about stages along the way before the end, about specific situations and benchmark moments that all patients experience on their journey towards the end of their lives.  Apparently, certain biological events take place as the body begins its shutting down, and Mom is reading and noting specific ones that she has read about in the handbook, looking for these with her mother.  

It's not this book, of course, nor does it read like stereo instructions.  But it's an odd handbook nonetheless, one based on thousands of observations of patients living through their final weeks.  As I observe Nana personally, it doesn't line up for me personally, as I tend to think she's just simply unwell about recovering.  That's just me hoping for the best.  If not for the cancer and the fact that she won't ever be able to get up and walk due to her heart, I would think she could keep on going forever, this despite the fact that she doesn't eat that much at all.  But the truth of it all, I guess, is that she is fading in front of us.

We had some large rolling storms today, loud ones with clearly defined fronts sweeping in with dark and menacing clouds hanging low in the sky.  Lots of wind and sudden temperature changes, and of course downpours.  The energy in the sky is a dangerous thing, fueling such rage from the skies.  

Maddie had taekwondo tonight.  I was driving to Oakwood after Dawsonville twice, dropping Maddie off so she can keep her routine going there.  Maddie is loving class, which is growing in size after the big summer break.  She's also enjoying her early childhood development class too, which is taught by the same exact teacher she had in Elementary school.  This teacher changed to high school, and Maddie is blessed to see her again.

We got home, and Maddie finished up some pre-calculus homework.  She's got a few quizzes this week already, and she'll nail them.  She got a 100 on a history quiz and a 90 on the pre-calculus quiz, despite some uncertainty.  But she's starting out well enough, and hopefully it won't be too difficult or stressful.  

Tonight we finished up with an episode of "Monk," just because we had to get our minds to calm down somewhat.  We were pretty tired tonight, so we went to bed after that, reading some from "Leia," before saying our prayers, and getting to rest.