Berserker

Today didn't go so well.  It was simply put one of the worst days for Mommy, the ugliest day she's had in years.  This, we suspect is due to the anesthesia, which has a wicked effect on her gastrointestinal system.  Them's fancy words - it all adds up to an awful day for Mommy.  She was on pain medication nearly the entire day, and quite miserable.

Madison was playing nurse for Mommy while this was happening.  One precious moment had Madison hop in the tub with Mommy.  The two were in the bathtub together, talking and soaking in the hot water.

Daddy, meanwhile, was busy at work.  We're gearing up for another big day tomorrow, but simultaneously we're clearing out a lot of stuff around the office, and generally cleaning things up.  Drastic changes are going on all around, including Daddy's new office, which looks just dandy.

One thing that Daddy got done today was the new message for tomorrow, one he'll be speaking to the kids about.  I generally script these things out, this for future reference.  But this is a message that we conceived ten years ago!  We were in Florida, brainstorming possible messages for a Viking series when we came up with this one - and here we are, ten years later watching it all fall into place.  Pretty neat stuff there.

Of course, the thing is, it's not the best day today.  Mommy's condition is just plain ugly.  We got the good news this past week, so that's given us a positive outlook.  A REALLY positive outlook.  So you can imagine that this is just a sort of retribution for such great news.  One last-ditch effort to keep us down.  And it isn't going to work, because Mommy cannot and will not stay down.  That said, here's the script for the message for tomorrow, one called "Berserker."

Berserker

Host:  "Hey there!  Today we're talking about being unstoppable, and moving forward.  And the big question on everyone's mind is simply this:  are we going to move forward with this weather?  Anyone tired of cold weather?  Seriously, who's ready for spring?"

Let audience answer.

HOST:  "There are a few people who know for sure what the next few weeks are going to be like, but if you really want to know what's going on, you HAVE to go see the Groundhog."

CUE SLIDE:  GROUNDHOG DAY

HOST:  "Now tomorrow is Groundhog Day, and everyone is heading off to see the little guy.  But I thought we'd check with Mrs. Groundhog today, and see if we can get a sneak peek at the next six weeks worth of weather."

HOST goes towards stone wall, and looks downward behind it.

HOST:  "Oh, I see she's taking a little bit of a nap.  Let's see if we can wake her up.  On the count of three, let's scream 'Wake up, groundhog!'  One... two... three!"

Let audience call out.

MRS. GROUNDHOG pops up from behind wall.

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "Wha?  Wha?"

HOST:  "Sorry for the crazy way of waking you up there - and thanks for being with us!"

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "No problem at all!  Glad to be here."

HOST:  "Big day for your husband tomorrow, isn't it?"

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "Yes, it sure is.  He's in his hole now, training and getting ready.  Tomorrow, all these reporters will be swarming his hole, and all those fans, and everyone has that one big question on their mind.  Will there be six weeks of winter, or is spring on the way?"

HOST:  "Yes, yes.  Any chance we can get an early answer?"

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "You know I can't tell you that!"

HOST:  "Look, I have to be honest.  I believe the groundhog usually gets it right.  But last year..."

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "Oh, don't remind me.  We had those two epic snowstorms RIGHT AFTER the groundhog said spring was on it's way."

HOST:  "How do you recover from a bad call like that?"

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "First of all, he's still more accurate than those weathermen you see on television, okay?"

HOST:  "Right.  Right."

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "But beyond that, he does what he always does.  He goes online and plays video games for hours with Cupid and the Easter Bunny.  And he eats bags and bags of cheese puffs.  But I told him to stop feeling sorry for himself, because we all get knocked down from time to time, right?"

HOST:  "Of course."

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "So that's what he did.  He got up and decided that from this point on, nothing is going to keep him down.  And that's why you'll find him tomorrow boldly telling everyone the way it is."

HOST:  "It sounds like you were just telling us the way it is."

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "Well, I guess I did, didn't I?"

HOST:  "Indeed!  Well Mrs. Groundhog, I know you've got a busy day planned - so thanks for being with us!"

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "It was my pleasure!"

HOST:  "See you later, Mrs. Groundhog!"

MRS. GROUNDHOG:  "Bye!"

MRS. GROUNDHOG drops behind stone wall, out of sight.

HOST:  "Well there you have it.  Don't let a little setback keep you from moving forward.  Of course, our Viking series here is charging forward, and today it's doing just that in a crazy way.  In fact, you could say we are going berserk!"

HOST:  "Nowadays when you hear that word, you think of people going crazy when they get mad, or some of those shoppers on Black Friday trying to get there early for a big deal.  The doors open, and they go berserk!"

CUE SLIDE:  BLACK FRIDAY

HOST:  "The word started out with the Vikings, believe it or not.  There were different types of warriors in a Viking army.  There were archers and there were those good with a sword or axe.  And then there were the berserkers.  These guys were crazy.  They worked themselves up into a frenzy, and were like a firecracker just waiting to be pointed at something.  And heaven help anyone in their way!"

HOST:  "I was trying to think of something to show you exactly what I'm talking about, and I think I found it with a great movie from last year, 'The LEGO Movie.'  There is this character that is all sweet and nice, but something gets her all stirred up, and the next thing you know... she's going berserk.  Let me show you what I'm talking about!"

CUE CLIP:  UNIKITTY GOES BERSERK

(During clip, Groundhog Puppeteer can escape)

HOST:  "Turn to your neighbor and say, 'Don't mess with Unikitty.'

Let audience respond.

HOST:  "My daughter and I have been playing "The LEGO Movie" video game, and one thing she likes to do is play as Unikitty - and then get her all crazy mad.  It doesn't matter what the odds are, someone like that is just fearless!"

HOST:  "In our Bibles, you can read about a man like this.  His name was Paul.  He set sail to conquer people's hearts with God's message, and he was utterly fearless.  And like a berserker, no matter how many hits the guy took - he just kept coming at you."

CUE SLIDE:  VIKING

HOST:  "When we were doing research for this series, we watched this old movie called 'The Vikings.'  And in it, they showed exactly what these Vikings use to believe.  They actually thought that if they died fighting, there was a place for them in Valhalla - that was what they called heaven."

HOST:  "Eventually, they learned this was wrong.  Many came to believe in Jesus, and many of them read about Paul.  And while doing that, I'm sure they were impressed - he was like a berserker to them!  Listen to this crazy thing Paul wrote:"

CUE SLIDE:  "PHILIPPIANS 1:21"

HOST:  "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.'  And that just happens to be our first point.  Take a look!"

CUE SLIDE:  TO DIE IS GAIN

HOST:  "To die is gain.  These Vikings knew about being fearless and facing death.  So they had to love what Paul was saying here.  But this doesn't mean you are literally going to die every day at school.  What it means is this:  doing those things you don't want to do sometimes over things you'd rather be doing.  For example, we all just left a fast.  How many of you would rather eat a hot fudge sundae over spending time reading the Bible?"

CUE SLIDE:  BIBLE versus SUNDAE

HOST:  "Or how about this one.  How many of you would rather pray than go sit and play some video games?"

CUE SLIDE:  "PRAY versus VIDEO GAMES"

HOST:  "Or what about this one.  How many of you would rather be nice to that shy kid versus hanging with your friends and talking about people behind their back?"

HOST:  "Every day we face choices like this.  And let's be honest.  It's easier to want to eat ice cream, play video games, and do all the things the popular kids at school do.  And that's why God wants us to kill all those desires.  There is nothing wrong with ice cream or many video games.  But we all need to make time for those right things in our lives.  And sometimes that involves killing that need to constantly be in front of the television - or whatever.  But to die is gain.  Everyone turn to your neighbor and say, 'to die is gain.'"

Let audience respond.

HOST:  "When you have this thought in your mind, you become unstoppable!  Viking Berserkers were crazy.  And you know something, the world thinks YOU are crazy too. I mean, how else can you explain a Christian acting happy when the world seems to be falling apart all around?"

HOST:  "Not that long ago, my wife was diagnosed with cancer.  It had been in her body for who knows how long - probably over a year.  And nobody knew about it until it was nearly too late.  For me and her, it was time for battle.  We had nothing to lose."

HOST:  "To this day, I remember setting up the praise music in that hospital music, having the anointing oil handy, praying with believers here always.  I remember Rex from the band - he came to the hospital actually dressed as a pirate.  No joke!"

HOST:  "Around the world, Christians are in these types of battles and worse.  And still, they are happy.  What's the secret?  Let's look to see what Paul did."

CUE SLIDE:  "ACTS 26:2"

HOST:  "I think myself happy.'  Paul said this when he was on trial for his life.  He was falsely accused, beaten and thrown into prison.  If anyone had a reason to complain in my eyes, it was Paul.  And yet here he is, thinking himself happy.  This brings me to the next point."

CUE SLIDE:  "Keep charging forward."

HOST:  "Keep charging forward.  This is what Paul did.  He turned that bad situation into a chance to make the devil pay.  Paul was always on the attack!  He kept getting hit, but he was unstoppable.  He is on trial, and he starts using that as an opportunity to tell others about Jesus.  And the king is stunned.  He asks Paul, 'Are you trying to convert me in such a short time?'  And Paul's response sums up our message for the day.  Paul tells him, 'It doesn't matter if it is a short time or a long time, king.'  Because Paul was crazy that way.  He was not going to be stopped.  And that king knew it - he was about to let Paul go.  But Paul said, NOPE!  Send me to Rome, where I can talk to Emperor!  This guy kept charging forward."

HOST:  "And that's what we need to do.  Sure, we'll take the hits.  But we cannot give up.  Don't stop, don't retreat, and don't give up.  How many Seattle Seahawks fans do we have out there?"

Let audience answer.

HOST:  "They were down 19 to 7, with just 2:09 left in the game. That meant they had to score twice in less than two minutes.  And they'd only scored ONCE the entire game so far.  They didn't give up, and now they're in the Super Bowl today."

HOST:  "You may not be heading for the Super Bowl, but God has great things for you. And that's why you have to get up no matter what gets thrown at you.  You are not a wimp.  You are a warrior.  Enough of this self pity.  It's time to get up and get back there on the attack."

HOST:  "Back to the story about my wife a moment.  Have you ever been in a rubber band war?  Here at the office, we used to have them all the time.  People would launch rubber bands at me."

HOST holds up a rubber band or two.

HOST:  "This is the attack of the enemy.  Some rubber bands are bigger, and others are smaller.  But they all sting when they hit, don't they?  That's life.  Sickness?  Whack!  No money?  Whack!  Tough time at school?  Whack!  Sometimes you just keep taking the hits.  And here's where that fighting unstoppable spirit kicks in.  God wants you take all those hits..."

HOST reaches down behind stone wall to pick up a huge rubber band ball.

HOST:  "And make a monster testimony out it.  This is the one my wife has been working on all this time.  That devil keeps launching bad news at her.  Keep it coming, buddy.  Because you're just giving her more ammunition, and she's about to take you down!

HOST puts down rubber band ball.

HOST:  "One final thing about the berserker.  Remember Unikitty?  She was acting crazy - like she wasn't in control of herself.  And that brings us to our final point."

CUE SLIDE:  LOSE YOURSELF

HOST:  "Lose yourself.  Trust God.  This world can seem pretty bleak sometimes.  Just reading the news sometimes can make you want to give up and find a hole to hide in, alongside that groundhog.  But remember this scripture here."

CUE SLIDE:  PSALM 55:22

HOST:  "Turn your worries over to the Lord.  He will keep you going.  He will never let godly people be shaken."

HOST:  "Let's just end this message here with this point - God is in charge.  Say it with me.  God is in charge."

Let audience respond

HOST:  "Nothing surprises Him.  When bad news comes, God isn't up there looking down nudging His angels saying, 'Holy cow, did you see that?'  If something looks bleak or dark in your life, you've got to remember that God is there right with you, and He has a happy ending for all of us.  And Jesus has been through it all here on earth, so He knows how you're feeling.  He knows when you're hurting, and I'm here to tell you that there IS a happy ending.  God is watching you right now.'

HOST:  "And here's where we get that berserker spirit.  Has anyone been knocked down by something in life?  Is there anyone out there that feels like their whole life has been shaken?  If that's you, raise your hand high."

HOST raises his hand.

HOST:  "That's me too.  But we're warriors, aren't we.  We've been hit, but right now, let's all rise.  Get up on your feet and shake it off."

HOST:  "That's good!  God is nudging His angels and saying, 'Holy cow, did you see that?'  Because you are going to win, and you know it.  Everyone knows it.  It's just a matter of time.  Don't stop, don't retreat, and don't give up.  Like a berserker, God has made you unstoppable."

HOST:  "Let us pray."