Something Beautiful

Fifteen years ago now, and it seems like a distant memory, a surreal event that changed our lives forever:  the first time we met Maddie.  We're so busy with Summer Xtreme preparations with costumes and so forth, but we were sure to stop and remember this momentous day fifteen years ago.  It's "Gotcha Day," and we usually post the pictures on social media and so forth, and we recount the stories and we read from the journal I wrote in about all that happened.  The memories grow fainter, and I'm glad I have pictures and written words for that day.  There are of course things I won't forget - the waiting in that room, and looking out across the large room into the doorways that led to a hallway that paralleled the entire room.  There were two doorways.  Maddie came through one of them, held by a social worker and passed on to Mom.  She was not happy about anything, and that's a typical image of adoption for infants and toddlers.  What it must have been like to leave behind all you knew to be handed into the arms of complete strangers.  But Maddie was so tired, and she fell asleep very quickly.  The journey to Nanning was a long one for her, and she was exhausted.  When she awoke, she was more settled and more comfortable, although there was much to get used to.  English, for one thing.  Many other things too - I remember Nana handing her toys, perhaps too many, and perhaps things getting overwhelming at points.  I remember the toy key ring that she would not let go of.  I remember the crib in the corner and the moment she was on her back on the bed, with Mom and I being a bit playful with her.  One of Maddie's first smiles came then, and we were grateful - they were few and far between in those early moments.  She was getting used to us.  I remember getting back to the hotel - all of us with our new children - and wondering if Maddie had been able to walk yet.  She was tiny and thin, and her first steps didn't come until perhaps the next day when we did the Cheerios trick, the thing you saw in the movie "E.T.", but instead of Reece's Pieces, there were Cheerios resting on the carpet there in a small path that led to a table she could reach the top of that had a small pile on it.  Later on she was walking more, which is my favorite memory of her early on - the day we explored that park and Maddie walked and walked and walked and kept on walking.  She was nearly leading the way, pulling us along, suddenly free and suddenly wanting to see the world for herself.  We were with her every step of the way, seeing all the beauty of that park in China - the large fish in the pond, the zigzag bridge, the ponds and statues, the ladies doing the tai chi and the elderly folks playing mahjang.  Mom brought along bubbles to blow at one quiet area, and Maddie reached out to touch them, fascinated by them floating all around her.  The temperature was perfect - the rain had just come and cleared out the park of many residents, and simultaneously cooled things off so that we could have the park nearly all to ourselves, going all the way from one end to the other.  It was a wonderful day.  

There are many other memories from our trip to China, but the first day we met Maddie was the biggest.  We didn't go anywhere else that day, and I'm glad.  The noise and commotion of the first meeting of all the parents - it was a room filled with wondrous chaos.  But the quiet in our room afterwards, and that sacred time together alone, just the three of us for the first time as a family... it was something beautiful.

Tonight we were at taekwondo, and it was a full night with the leadership class followed by black belt class.  Maddie had a good time as always.  She was sparring of course, and working on a few kicks that she's getting better at.  In fact, there's this one kick that she's able to do... which she was pulling off even though she was trying something else... it was funny.  

We got home today, and we read for a bit, and then said our prayers.  We'll do something nice for a big Asian meal tomorrow to celebrate, and it's an equally important date tomorrow- the official adoption date. But today will be the one that goes in our memory even stronger - the day we first met her, fifteen years ago this very date.