Three Years Ago...

Today marks the three year anniversary of our receiving a referral letter about Madison. It was the first time we saw her face:

How fast time goes by. Coincidentally, today we got word that another letter was just now sent out to waiting families hoping for adoption - just like the one we got on May 2, 2008 (three years ago to the day!).

This illustrates how long the wait has become for families that sent in their dossiers with hopes set on adoption from China: What started out as a six-month turnaround became something much, much longer. It used to be that you would send a dossier, and expect to travel within about six months. We sent our dossier in January of 2006, and heard the process was lengthening in time. That it did: we met Madison not six months later as we initially believed, but rather two and a half years later: at the end of June of 2008.

If you think that is a long wait, look at what hopeful parents are enduring now: as we said, there was a letter sent out today to those who have been waiting. This is for parents who sent their dossier back in June of 2006. That's just five months after we sent our dossier out. Now, five years later, they finally go. That's right: they've been waiting for five years.

It's something to think about: If we sent our dossier out just five months later than we did - we too would be still waiting to go to China.

That speaks volumes, of course, about the China adoption process in general - but more down to our level, it speaks even more about how grateful we are for what we have, and how looking back we can see God's timing in everything.

Inevitably, when we talk of the wait time, we talk of the red thread: the invisible connection we had with our baby daughter across the sea. Regardless of time, place or circumstance, there is a Chinese legend about a red thread that connects those who are destined to be with each other.

Once we started the adoption process in 2005, we didn't know where she was or much about her. But we knew that God had chosen someone very special for us, and that if we went to China too soon, we wouldn't be with her. It wouldn't be the right child. It wouldn't be our child. Adoptive parents in general, I've found, seem to have this philosophy, which lends itself to a massive reserve of patience. Sure, you can't wait to get there. But you also relax when you know God's hand is in all of it. And undoubtedly, His hand was with us as the ultimate matchmaker.

In January of 2006, once we sent out that dossier, the deal was final. No turning back! When China says "come to get your child," we do just that, or forfeit a whole lot emotionally and financially.

Forever tied to our waiting process is the diagnosis that arrived in the Spring of 2008: Mommy had cancer. This led to emergency surgery, to chemotherapy and radiation treatment, to emotional battles, triumphs, and the lowest of valleys. When word was out from the adoption agency that we weren't going to China in six months, we were secretly delighted: there was no way Mommy would be able to go. In fact, Mommy wouldn't be able to go if we left for China a year after we sent that dossier. While many fumed about the process getting longer, we were quietly hoping and praying the wait would extend.

And it did. The process kept lengthening. When were we going to China? We didn't have the answers. But we had patience: Mommy was done with chemotherapy and radiation, but still needed further surgeries and healing time. As the months rolled by, we made our estimations of getting our referral letter by the Spring of 2008. Yet, the process still continued to lengthen. But that suited us just fine: every moment we were delayed was a moment that Mommy could regain her strength and be fit enough to travel.

Finally, May 2 arrived. It was a magical day, of course. You can read about it here. But just one of the backstories is this: Mommy was almost 100% again. She would be ready to go. We had no control over the time we went, just as we had no control over the time healing that Mommy needed to go through. And yet it all worked out wonderfully, as our trip was the greatest in our lives, so completely covered in God's grace.

May 2 was a day we long waited for, especially through all that Mommy endured. The hope of getting our referral was one of the things that gave her hope to make it through her trials.

And now here we are, three years later, and looking back. Mommy hasn't been completely healed yet, but we still pray for that each day. At least the cancer is 100% gone, checked up on by doctors regularly. The important thing is that we are all still here, and finally together as a family. That red thread that stretched so wide across the sea now stretches just a few feet down the hall, to a quiet bedroom where one of life's most precious gifts sleeps peacefully, looking just as beautiful to us as the day we first saw her photo three years ago.