In Memory Of

This afternoon, we had our memorial service for Dave, pictured above with his family.  He was 51.  Despite the threat of icy roads, and the time of day and location this service took place, a lot of people showed up.  We were there at noon at the Browns Bridge Community Church - Madison was with us for her first memorial service/funeral.

We had a pastor speak, and there was worship music in between.  Another pastor spoke at the end, and thrown into the mix, there were things that were said by family:  Jonathan and Hannah above, Ye-Ye spoke as well - and so did Daddy. This was the outline of what Daddy shared today, which went decently enough.  Parts of Daddy's email announcement were in these words.  Daddy was nervous, but it all worked out:

When Dave passed away, we were all there.  Just like we were in life.  Through holidays, special events and moments, it was always this family unit working together, or celebrating together.  It was as if Dave was waiting for me to get there, so we could all be together ...one last time.

When I was asked to say a few things, I was struggling at first - where to begin?  And that's when the obvious answer occurred to me:  start at the beginning.  Now don't worry, I'm not going speak about the twenty something years I have known him.  But I did want to share something that I myself hadn't thought about fully in some time.

My name is David - yes, another David.  My memories of Dave are many, especially this week as we poured through so many old photographs and happy occasions.  Dave was a good guy.  He wasn't perfect, but none of us are, of course.  Dave was always into sports.  Therefore, he had absolutely nothing in common with the rest of us.  Seriously, he would want to talk about college football, and we would be doing our Yoda impersonations.  Still, we found common ground in our Christianity, and of course our politics, which he was always quick to bring up at the big family meals, despite the contrary leanings of our grandmother.

I will remember him most though, for being so amazingly bold with his faith.  He was a guy who could walk up to complete strangers and start telling them about Jesus.  Dave was the type of guy that instead of just saying grace, would pray a five-minute message in the middle of a public restaurant, thanking God before everyone at McDonald's, O'Charley's, Disney World, or wherever.  To this day, I secretly envy that.

About the time I met Dave for the first time, I wasn't going to church.  I wasn't running from God, but I certainly wasn't running to Him either.

In fact, I thought my life was pretty stable, especially when compared to my sister!  But she had a remarkable conversion, and was suddenly the angel of the family!  I remember one time visiting Dave and Shain in Oklahoma early on, and they were putting in Jessie Duplantis videos, and secretly praying for me of all people.  Like I was a sinner or something!

Now I didn't have a pivotal, singular moment returning to the church.  But something remarkable did happen, and there we were, just as it has been:  all of us together.  You see, Dave wanted to be a pastor.  He wanted to start a church, and to begin with, WE were his congregation.  My friend Chad joined us, and together we all helped set things up each Sunday, only to tear it down that afternoon.

The congregation never expanded beyond the people listed above.  And the question could be asked, "What was the fruit of all that?"  I mean, after all, Jesus told us, "You will know a tree by its fruit." (Luke 6:44).

It's a fair question.  And the answer is simple.  To quote the father in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding:"  "We're all fruit!"  WE were the fruit.  I went to that church for a season, and the next church I started going to is the one I attend now to this day.  In fact I work there, where my wife and I have created the curriculum for thousands of children.

This is not in anyway to glorify myself at all.  But I'm not sure if I would be in this direction today if it were not for Dave's crazy idea to start a church.  What path would I have gone down if not for Dave's vision?  As I look back this week, I realize that yes, I am a fruit!

Not too long ago, Dave and I had a conversation about Christmas movies.  He told me one of his favorite movies was "It's a Wonderful Life."  And as I was looking back this week, and thinking about what to say, my wife and I remembered a line from Clarence the angel.  He said this:  "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"

Today we gather around to look at a pretty big hole.  And this week, I am seeing more and more of the fruit of his life, of his purpose here on earth.  As Dave passed away, I his remarkable children, all raised up and strong in faith.  We'll miss him terribly, but because of our faith, we don't mourn as others do.

We'll see Dave again someday.  And until then, this family will do as it has always done by staying together.  Because God is taking care of us, just as He is taking care of you now, Dave.

We'll all see you soon enough.  It's just one more thing to look forward to in heaven.

After the service, we went to the house for a bit.  We had a slide show made from pictures of Dave over the years, ones we've scanned on our computer here.  There was pleasant music and a nice atmosphere, as nice as we could make it.  There was a fire in the fireplace, and our church took care of a tremendous meal for the whole family, one waiting here at the house for us.  We sat around and talked, and shared stories, all the while the weather got a bit worse outside.  Fortunately, everyone got home safely.  Just as with all things, the temperature only got below freezing - and unsafe - after everyone got home in time.

Madison was gracious at the memorial service, welcoming everyone and thanking them for coming.  She was so diplomatic.  But during the service, she was in tears.  It hurt her to see others in such pain, and she was empathizing with everyone else during the service.  But she did very well.  We hate that this happened, of course.  But she couldn't miss it, as we are family.

This week, we're one less in our number.  But we're still family.