So, as noted here earlier, Daddy loves Street Fighter. And Sunday's message is about "fighting the good fight of faith," which is one he happened to post earlier, here.
I didn't have a clue as to how to go about doing a skit - until I noticed we have two funny sumo wrestling costumes. And then I remembered our friend from Street Fighter, E Honda.
The "Bible" in this skit is briefly touched on - that is to say it isn't one of my stronger things. But at the moment, I'm finding it pretty amusing. It's just one of the things I was working on today, all in preparation for a big day tomorrow:
E
Honda
LIGHTS ON
CUE TRACK:
6 E HONDA THEME MUSIC
CUE SLIDE: “SUMO BATH HOUSE”
NARRATOR: “This is
a story of a warrior. His name is the stuff
of legend. His name is… Edmund!”
EDMUND walks in STAGE RIGHT, wearing a sumo costume.
NARRATOR: “You’re a warrior?”
EDMUND: “Your
ignorance makes me laugh. Ha, ha,
ha! Look at my sumo belly jiggle with
laughter – ha, ha, ha!”
EDMUND shakes his large belly.
NARRATOR:
“Right. So what brings you to
KidPak?”
EDMUND: “A Honda.”
NARRATOR: “NO. I mean, why
are you here?”
EDMUND: “My goal is
to share the art of sumo with the world!”
NARRATOR: “Which is
why we’ve brought you an opponent to battle.
KidPak, would you like to see his next opponent?”
Let audience respond.
REFEREE enters STAGE LEFT
EDMUND: “That’s my opponent?”
NARRATOR: “ No, that’s just…”
EDMUND: “BIG OINK!”
EDMUND pretends to fly across the stage until he hits
REFEREE, knocking him down.
EDMUND: “Sumo
squeeze!”
EDMUND picks up REFEREE and gives him a manly squeeze.
NARRATOR:
“Edmund! Stoppit! That’s just the referee!”
EDMUND puts REFEREE down.
EDMUND: “Sorry man.
(after a moment) This is kind of awkward.”
NARRATOR: “I’ll
say. Because here comes your opponent!”
CUE TRACK: 7 MENACING
CHRISTMAS
SUMO SANTA enters.
SUMO SANTA: “I’m
adding you to the naughty list!”
EDMUND: “Okay, what
on earth is that?”
SUMO WRESTLERS
CIRCLE EACH OTHER
NARRATOR: “Meet
Sumo Santa! He’s Santa’s evil twin – and
wants to take over the North Pole!”
EDMUND: “That is
the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”
SUMO SANTA: “No. This is the most ridiculous thing you’ve
ever seen before!”
CUE TRACK: 8 JINGLE
JAM
SUMO SANTA: “Time
for the Kringle Krush!”
SUMO SANTA dances around a bit, jiggling and ridiculous.
NARRATOR: “It’s a
flab-o-lanche!”
SUMO SANTA flaunts his big stomach in EDMUND’S FACE,
jiggling it and screaming.
SUMO SANTA: “Ho,
ho, ho!”
EDMUND has had enough.
EDMUND:
“One-hundred hand slap!”
EDMUND imitates the E-HONDA move – a rapid-fire hand slap
on SUMO SANTA’S stomach area. SUMO SANTA seems unaffected.
SUMO SANTA:
“Ah! Thanks for the massage!”
NARRATOR: “Break it
up you two!”
REFEREE breaks them up. SUMO SANTA and EDMUND break apart,
and begin circling each other once more, sizing each other up.
NARRATOR: “Now this
will be a fight of honor!”
CUE MUSIC: JAPANESE
DRUMS
SUMOS both lift one foot in the air, pounding it downward.
CUE SOUND EFFECT:
“BOOM!”
SUMOS repeat, as they continue circling.
NARRATOR: “Ah, the sacred
foot stomping. Now sumos do this
supposedly to scare away bad spirits.
But the only thing it really does is make them look even more ridiculous
to us.”
SUMO SANTA stands up a moment and looks towards SOUND
BOOTH.
SUMO SANTA: “Do you
mind? I will come up there and give you
a belly pound you’ll never forget!”
NARRATOR: “Uh, yes.
Right. Well, the next thing that
happens in this sacred ceremony is the exchange of territorial honor vows.”
EDMUND screams absolute gibberish at SUMO SANTA, who is
now back in position.
SUMO SANTA returns with a volley of loud gibberish when he
is finished.
EDMUND fires back his own gibberish, even more ridiculous.
SUMO SANTA waits until he is done, and then tries to top
that.
NARRATOR: “As you
can see, honor is at stake here. In this
ceremonial ring, much will be decided today!”
REFEREE: “Round
one. FIGHT!”
SUMO SANTA and EDMUND slap the ground, approach each other
– and then do the girl slap at each other, turning their heads away, putting
their hands out and slapping out at each other’s hands.
NARRATOR: “Little
girly combo!”
SUMOS continue a moment, but then back up, realizing that
strategy didn’t work.
NARRATOR: “Now that
his opponent is weakened, the traditional sumo warrior now attempts to grapple,
and push his opponent out of the ring!”
SUMOS burst forward towards each other, grabbing each
other’s shoulders, and then both falling down to the ground (carefully – our
floor is not compatible with things like action).
SUMOS cannot get up.
They roll back and forth a bit like that kid from “A Christmas Story,”
but cannot get up.
SUMO SANTA: “I’ve
fallen! And I can’t get up!”
SUMO SANTA rocks back and forth, hoping to get up.
EDMUND: “I can tell
that you are completely wiped out! Give
up now, or face more of my terrible
power!”
EDMUND says this as he rocks back and forth in an attempt
to get up.
NARRATOR: “Gyōji? Can you help us move things along?”
REFEREE helps both SUMOS UP, and claps loudly to get
things started once more.
SUMOS step back and face each other once more.
NARRATOR: “Round
two! Fight!”
SUMO SANTA:
“Seasons screamings!”
EDMUND: “I’m never
getting out of the ring!”
SUMO SANTA: “ And you’ll never get me out of the ring, sumo!”
EDMUND: “I’m not
giving up!”
NARRATOR: “And
perhaps that’s what we as Christians should do.”
EDMUND and SUMO SANTA stop, rise up and look towards SOUND
BOOTH
EDMUND and SUMO SANTA: “ What?”
NARRATOR: “The
Bible says to never give up. It tells us
to fight the good fight of faith with all the other believers.”
EDMUND and SUMO SANTA are suddenly somewhat cordial.
EDMUND: “Wow,
you’re right. That’s great. Life can be a fight, but we’ve got to
remember to help each other fight on, and never give up.”
SUMO SANTA: “Yes,
quite. I was thinking the same thing.”
EDMUND: “You know
something? You’re alright after all.”
SUMO SANTA: “ Thanks.”
EDMUND: “Say, I’ve
misplaced my salt. Can you get me some
from over there?”
EDMUND points to STAGE LEFT
SUMO SANTA: “Sure
thing!”
SUMO SANTA leaves the ring.
REFEREE blows whistle!
EDMUND raises his hands in triumph.
NARRATOR: “We have a winner!”
SUMO SANTA: “What? You tricked me!”
EDMUND: “I got you out of the ring! I got you out of the ring!”
SUMO SANTA looks ready to charge.
EDMUND: “Uh-oh!”
SUMO SANTA charges, and chases EDMUND off STAGE RIGHT
NARRATOR: “Triple
Brown Betty Combo! Well, if there’s one
thing to learn – it’s to never give up.
Fight the good fight of faith along with the other believers, and don’t
let setbacks get you down.”
SUMO SANTA chases EDMUND across from STAGE RIGHT to STAGE
LEFT EXIT.
NARRATOR: “And
never get on a sumo wrestler’s nerves!
See you next time!”
FADE LIGHTS
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