Tonight, Madison got to go to church - and that's where we talked about G-forces. Daddy heard a message that Mommy was listening to, one that talked about the progression from grace to gratitude to generosity. Those were all starting with the letter 'g,' so that's where the g-force idea came from. When it comes to the theme of Space Camp, the whole g-force training is pretty unique - it's that device that looks like a carnival ride. In fact, we showed the scene from "Rocketman" tonight, where Fred Randall endures the spinning device, and experiences a whole lot of g's.
Soon after, it was time for a skit I wrote up rather quickly last night, one related to that grace we've all received, tied closely to the story of the unforgiving servant. And, of course, with a Space Camp theme to it.
NOTE: I have never actually seen Wallykazam.
NARRATOR: “Once there was a Space Camp student who was quite happy to be here.”
ROGER enters STAGE RIGHT
NARRATOR: “What was his name again?”
ROGER: “Roger.”
NARRATOR: “Roger?”
ROGER: “Roger, Roger.”
NARRATOR: “Right. Well, anyway, he was happy to be here at the Space Station. He learned quite a bit. He was happy as can be.”
ROGER: “Yay!”
NARRATOR: “Until he saw Kate. “
KATE enters STAGE RIGHT.
ROGER: “Oh, no.”
NARRATOR: “You see Roger owed Kate a lot of money. Some time ago, he didn’t have enough to make it to Space Camp. This made him very sad.”
ROGER wails.
NARRATOR: “Not that sad.”
ROGER: “Sorry.”
NARRATOR: “But he was sad. He said, ‘I wish I could go to Space Camp. But I don’t have enough money.’”
ROGER: “ I wish I could go to Space Camp, but I don’t have enough money.”
NARRATOR: “So back then Kate did something really nice. She loaned him some money.”
KATE: “How much do you need?”
ROGER: “All of it.”
KATE: “Yikes.”
NARRATOR: “Nevertheless, Kate paid the incredible price for Roger to go to Space Camp.”
KATE goes over and gives money to NARRATOR.
NARRATOR: “Thanks. Now I can go over to Race Trac and get some taquitos!”
OFFSTAGE: “Hey, taquitos!”
NARRATOR: “And so once again, Roger was happy.”
ROGER: “Whoo-hoo!”
ROGER runs around stage celebrating.
NARRATOR: “Not that happy.”
ROGER: (downcast) “Yay.”
NARRATOR: “Okay, not that depressed either. Try being casual?”
ROGER: “Yay!”
NARRATOR: “Better. Fast forward to today. Hopefully Roger had saved up some money, and was ready to pay her back, right?”
ROGER just stands there.
KATE: “RIGHT?”
ROGER shuffles his feet.
ROGER: “Yes?”
NARRATOR: “And this is why Kate was here much later. She was here to get her money back. It was quite a lot.”
ROGER: “Ur…”
NARRATOR: “And heaven help someone not bright enough to have any money at all to pay back. I mean, you’d have to be a real cotton-headed ninny-muggin to not save up money to pay back Kate. But I’m sure that’s not you, Roger.”
ROGER: “Ur…”
KATE: “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll pay me back. He may be not so bright, but he’s got a good heart.”
NARRATOR: “Yeah, otherwise, he’d be in trouble. He’d go to that new debtor’s prison, launched to the lifeless moon of Phobos, where the only food is broccoli, and the only thing on their television is Wallykazam!”
CUE IMAGE: “WALLYKAZAM!”
ROGER: “NO! Not that!”
NARRATOR: “Yeah, pretty much that.”
KATE: “Wait. Are you saying you don’t have the money to pay me back?”
ROGER: “Well, that depends on your definition of ‘don’t have the money.’”
KATE looks at him, stunned.
ROGER: “Okay, I don’t have the money.”
NARRATOR: “Oh my. (excited) Wallykazam, here we come!”
ROGER gets on his knees before KATE.
ROGER: “Please, I beg you! Don’t let me go there!”
NARRATOR: “The law is the law, Roger. You do the crime, you serve the time!”
ROGER: “You stay out of this! Please, please, please, please! I’ll wash your duck for a year.”
KATE: “But I don’t have a duck.”
ROGER: “Perfect!”
NARRATOR: “Somehow, Kate saw something in Roger. He looked so pathetic and worried. He looked so mercilessly free of the ravages of intelligence. He had as many brain cells are there are oxygen atoms on the moon. He…”
ROGER: “ Okay, we get it!”
NARRATOR: “Right. And so therefore Kate decided to try something a little different.”
PAUSE
KATE: “EXECUTE HIM.”
ROGER looks absolutely terrified.
NARRATOR: “Ulp!”
NARRATOR rushes over to KATE, shows her the script, and she covers her mouth in surprise.
KATE: “Sorry. My bad. I meant, I will show you grace.”
ROGER looks grateful.
KATE: “But do not forget the grace that I showed you.”
NARRATOR: “That sounds like foreshadowing to me. And with that, Kate left to the newest branch of the International Space Station.”
KATE: “They’re installing a new nail salon over on the Russian side of the station. Best. Day. Ever.”
KATE exits STAGE RIGHT.
NARRATOR: “And so Roger was quite grateful. He had a new spring in his step.”
ROGER hops around on stage, as HORACE enters STAGE RIGHT, holding LUCILLE the WRENCH.
NARRATOR: “Until he saw Horace.”
ROGER stops in his tracks.
NARRATOR: “Horace owed Roger $1.57.”
ROGER: “You owe me $1.57!”
NARRATOR: “ Not long ago, Horace wanted to try a dehydrated ice cream. So he borrowed $1.57 from Roger.”
HORACE: “I was meaning to pay you back.”
ROGER: “Sure you were!”
NARRATOR: “Roger was without mercy. He hounded Horace every day about that $1.57. He was relentless, and now he had finally had enough.”
ROGER: “I have had enough! I want my $1.57.”
HORACE: “ I’ve been meaning to get it to you. I’ve been saving up lately, doing a bit of extra work for you.”
NARRATOR: “Then Roger said the unthinkable.”
ROGER: “The unthinkable!”
HORACE shrieks.
NARRATOR: “Translated, that means this: the law is the law! And because he couldn’t pay Roger back, Horace was now banished to the deserted moon of Phobos where the only programming on television was Wallykazam!”
CUE IMAGE: WALLYKAZAM!
ROGER shrieks.
HORACE: “Actually, I kind of like that little guy.”
ROGER: “Then I hope you enjoy it. WITHOUT LUCILLE THE WRENCH!”
ROGER takes LUCILLE from HORACE
HORACE: “You wouldn’t!”
ROGER: “ I would!”
NARRATOR: “ You wouldn’t!”
ROGER: “ I just did! Guards!”
NARRATOR: “At this point, some burly guards came out. They didn’t want to, but their job was to take Horace to the planet Phobos. Without Lucille.”
HORACE sobs.
HORACE: “No!”
NARRATOR: “ When lo! Someone appeared then and there.”
MICHAEL enters STAGE RIGHT.
NARRATOR: “No, not you!”
MICHAEL is pushed off stage.
NARRATOR: “And lo! Someone appeared right there and then!”
KATE appears at STAGE RIGHT.
KATE: “I was getting my nails done by Min-jae, and she said that Nari told her that Sora told her that Roger wasn’t going to let Horace slide for a tiny little $1.57? Is that true?”
ROGER looks desperate a moment.
HORACE, NARRATOR, BURLY GUARD: “ Yep.”
NARRATOR: “And that’s when Kate frowned.”
KATE frowns.
NARRATOR: “And she shook her head back and forth, disappointed.”
KATE shakes her head back and forth, disappointed.
NARRATOR: “ And she did fifteen jumping jacks.”
KATE looks at NARRATOR quizzically.
NARRATOR: “Just testing to see if you’d do it. Anyway, Kate told Roger exactly what we’re all thinking.”
KATE: “ You smell funny!”
NARRATOR: “ Not that. The other thing.”
KATE grabs LUCILLE from ROGER.
KATE: “You wouldn’t forgive him of $1.57, and meanwhile, I forgave you for a WHOLE LOT MORE THAN THAT?”
ROGER looks downward.
HORACE: “And you smell funny?”
NARRATOR: “ Roger had nothing to say. Which is odd, you know?”
HORACE, BURLY GUARD and KATE nod and mumble in agreement.
NARRATOR: “So Kate had no choice but to sentence him to the abandoned moon of Phobos!”
CUE IMAGE: WALLYKAZAM!
KATE points. BURLY GUARD begins to drag ROGER off STAGE RIGHT.
ROGER: “Not Wallykazam! NO!”
BURLY GUARD and ROGER exit STAGE RIGHT
NARRATOR: “Roger was shown grace. You think he would have shown giving. Hopefully he’s learned his lesson.”
KATE hands LUCILLE back to HORACE
NARRATOR: “It’s a sad tale, one of a tragedy and…”
HORACE: “No it ain’t. I got Lucille back.”
NARRATOR: “Yeah, I suppose, but…”
KATE: “ And it doesn’t smell so bad here on the station anymore…”
NARRATOR: “ And there’s that.”
HORACE: “And I don’t have to pay $1.57 anymore.”
NARRATOR: “ Okay, you got me there. It’s a happy ending for everyone!”
HORACE and KATE cheer.
NARRATOR: “And everyone lived happily… ever… after!”
HORACE and KATE bow
NARRATOR: “THE END.”
Soon after, it was time for a skit I wrote up rather quickly last night, one related to that grace we've all received, tied closely to the story of the unforgiving servant. And, of course, with a Space Camp theme to it.
NOTE: I have never actually seen Wallykazam.
NARRATOR: “Once there was a Space Camp student who was quite happy to be here.”
ROGER enters STAGE RIGHT
NARRATOR: “What was his name again?”
ROGER: “Roger.”
NARRATOR: “Roger?”
ROGER: “Roger, Roger.”
NARRATOR: “Right. Well, anyway, he was happy to be here at the Space Station. He learned quite a bit. He was happy as can be.”
ROGER: “Yay!”
NARRATOR: “Until he saw Kate. “
KATE enters STAGE RIGHT.
ROGER: “Oh, no.”
NARRATOR: “You see Roger owed Kate a lot of money. Some time ago, he didn’t have enough to make it to Space Camp. This made him very sad.”
ROGER wails.
NARRATOR: “Not that sad.”
ROGER: “Sorry.”
NARRATOR: “But he was sad. He said, ‘I wish I could go to Space Camp. But I don’t have enough money.’”
ROGER: “ I wish I could go to Space Camp, but I don’t have enough money.”
NARRATOR: “So back then Kate did something really nice. She loaned him some money.”
KATE: “How much do you need?”
ROGER: “All of it.”
KATE: “Yikes.”
NARRATOR: “Nevertheless, Kate paid the incredible price for Roger to go to Space Camp.”
KATE goes over and gives money to NARRATOR.
NARRATOR: “Thanks. Now I can go over to Race Trac and get some taquitos!”
OFFSTAGE: “Hey, taquitos!”
NARRATOR: “And so once again, Roger was happy.”
ROGER: “Whoo-hoo!”
ROGER runs around stage celebrating.
NARRATOR: “Not that happy.”
ROGER: (downcast) “Yay.”
NARRATOR: “Okay, not that depressed either. Try being casual?”
ROGER: “Yay!”
NARRATOR: “Better. Fast forward to today. Hopefully Roger had saved up some money, and was ready to pay her back, right?”
ROGER just stands there.
KATE: “RIGHT?”
ROGER shuffles his feet.
ROGER: “Yes?”
NARRATOR: “And this is why Kate was here much later. She was here to get her money back. It was quite a lot.”
ROGER: “Ur…”
NARRATOR: “And heaven help someone not bright enough to have any money at all to pay back. I mean, you’d have to be a real cotton-headed ninny-muggin to not save up money to pay back Kate. But I’m sure that’s not you, Roger.”
ROGER: “Ur…”
KATE: “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll pay me back. He may be not so bright, but he’s got a good heart.”
NARRATOR: “Yeah, otherwise, he’d be in trouble. He’d go to that new debtor’s prison, launched to the lifeless moon of Phobos, where the only food is broccoli, and the only thing on their television is Wallykazam!”
CUE IMAGE: “WALLYKAZAM!”
ROGER: “NO! Not that!”
NARRATOR: “Yeah, pretty much that.”
KATE: “Wait. Are you saying you don’t have the money to pay me back?”
ROGER: “Well, that depends on your definition of ‘don’t have the money.’”
KATE looks at him, stunned.
ROGER: “Okay, I don’t have the money.”
NARRATOR: “Oh my. (excited) Wallykazam, here we come!”
ROGER gets on his knees before KATE.
ROGER: “Please, I beg you! Don’t let me go there!”
NARRATOR: “The law is the law, Roger. You do the crime, you serve the time!”
ROGER: “You stay out of this! Please, please, please, please! I’ll wash your duck for a year.”
KATE: “But I don’t have a duck.”
ROGER: “Perfect!”
NARRATOR: “Somehow, Kate saw something in Roger. He looked so pathetic and worried. He looked so mercilessly free of the ravages of intelligence. He had as many brain cells are there are oxygen atoms on the moon. He…”
ROGER: “ Okay, we get it!”
NARRATOR: “Right. And so therefore Kate decided to try something a little different.”
PAUSE
KATE: “EXECUTE HIM.”
ROGER looks absolutely terrified.
NARRATOR: “Ulp!”
NARRATOR rushes over to KATE, shows her the script, and she covers her mouth in surprise.
KATE: “Sorry. My bad. I meant, I will show you grace.”
ROGER looks grateful.
KATE: “But do not forget the grace that I showed you.”
NARRATOR: “That sounds like foreshadowing to me. And with that, Kate left to the newest branch of the International Space Station.”
KATE: “They’re installing a new nail salon over on the Russian side of the station. Best. Day. Ever.”
KATE exits STAGE RIGHT.
NARRATOR: “And so Roger was quite grateful. He had a new spring in his step.”
ROGER hops around on stage, as HORACE enters STAGE RIGHT, holding LUCILLE the WRENCH.
NARRATOR: “Until he saw Horace.”
ROGER stops in his tracks.
NARRATOR: “Horace owed Roger $1.57.”
ROGER: “You owe me $1.57!”
NARRATOR: “ Not long ago, Horace wanted to try a dehydrated ice cream. So he borrowed $1.57 from Roger.”
HORACE: “I was meaning to pay you back.”
ROGER: “Sure you were!”
NARRATOR: “Roger was without mercy. He hounded Horace every day about that $1.57. He was relentless, and now he had finally had enough.”
ROGER: “I have had enough! I want my $1.57.”
HORACE: “ I’ve been meaning to get it to you. I’ve been saving up lately, doing a bit of extra work for you.”
NARRATOR: “Then Roger said the unthinkable.”
ROGER: “The unthinkable!”
HORACE shrieks.
NARRATOR: “Translated, that means this: the law is the law! And because he couldn’t pay Roger back, Horace was now banished to the deserted moon of Phobos where the only programming on television was Wallykazam!”
CUE IMAGE: WALLYKAZAM!
ROGER shrieks.
HORACE: “Actually, I kind of like that little guy.”
ROGER: “Then I hope you enjoy it. WITHOUT LUCILLE THE WRENCH!”
ROGER takes LUCILLE from HORACE
HORACE: “You wouldn’t!”
ROGER: “ I would!”
NARRATOR: “ You wouldn’t!”
ROGER: “ I just did! Guards!”
NARRATOR: “At this point, some burly guards came out. They didn’t want to, but their job was to take Horace to the planet Phobos. Without Lucille.”
HORACE sobs.
HORACE: “No!”
NARRATOR: “ When lo! Someone appeared then and there.”
MICHAEL enters STAGE RIGHT.
NARRATOR: “No, not you!”
MICHAEL is pushed off stage.
NARRATOR: “And lo! Someone appeared right there and then!”
KATE appears at STAGE RIGHT.
KATE: “I was getting my nails done by Min-jae, and she said that Nari told her that Sora told her that Roger wasn’t going to let Horace slide for a tiny little $1.57? Is that true?”
ROGER looks desperate a moment.
HORACE, NARRATOR, BURLY GUARD: “ Yep.”
NARRATOR: “And that’s when Kate frowned.”
KATE frowns.
NARRATOR: “And she shook her head back and forth, disappointed.”
KATE shakes her head back and forth, disappointed.
NARRATOR: “ And she did fifteen jumping jacks.”
KATE looks at NARRATOR quizzically.
NARRATOR: “Just testing to see if you’d do it. Anyway, Kate told Roger exactly what we’re all thinking.”
KATE: “ You smell funny!”
NARRATOR: “ Not that. The other thing.”
KATE grabs LUCILLE from ROGER.
KATE: “You wouldn’t forgive him of $1.57, and meanwhile, I forgave you for a WHOLE LOT MORE THAN THAT?”
ROGER looks downward.
HORACE: “And you smell funny?”
NARRATOR: “ Roger had nothing to say. Which is odd, you know?”
HORACE, BURLY GUARD and KATE nod and mumble in agreement.
NARRATOR: “So Kate had no choice but to sentence him to the abandoned moon of Phobos!”
CUE IMAGE: WALLYKAZAM!
KATE points. BURLY GUARD begins to drag ROGER off STAGE RIGHT.
ROGER: “Not Wallykazam! NO!”
BURLY GUARD and ROGER exit STAGE RIGHT
NARRATOR: “Roger was shown grace. You think he would have shown giving. Hopefully he’s learned his lesson.”
KATE hands LUCILLE back to HORACE
NARRATOR: “It’s a sad tale, one of a tragedy and…”
HORACE: “No it ain’t. I got Lucille back.”
NARRATOR: “Yeah, I suppose, but…”
KATE: “ And it doesn’t smell so bad here on the station anymore…”
NARRATOR: “ And there’s that.”
HORACE: “And I don’t have to pay $1.57 anymore.”
NARRATOR: “ Okay, you got me there. It’s a happy ending for everyone!”
HORACE and KATE cheer.
NARRATOR: “And everyone lived happily… ever… after!”
HORACE and KATE bow
NARRATOR: “THE END.”
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