Sunset

Our last sunset at the condo, a nice subtle one, still remarkably peaceful and pleasant.  Today we actually jumped out into the waves, deeper than usual, although still standing up just fine.  The waves splashed up and over us, and it was super fun going out there in the ocean for a bit to relax.  Following that, we were in the pool down there, using it one last time as well.  

Things were not going so well inside the house for Mommy.  It seems as if it is a sunset in other ways as well.  Nana's condition has been troubling, an emotional roller coaster, her memory problems amplified by recent events.  It's incredibly stressful for Mommy, and it is clear that when we move upwards, we'll all want to take some medical check-ups, but in Nana's case, it's been a long time since she's had any examination.  

Earlier in the day we were at Goodwill for some drop-offs, but we were also there looking around a bit.  It was just a chance to get out of the house.  Madison actually got some clothing she'll be wearing perhaps at school or church, but otherwise, it was an okay stop.  I think the other stop we looked forward to more was a final trip to Cow Lick's Ice Cream.  It was sad because we still can't actually eat there or even use their restrooms.  But we got some ice cream nonetheless, and Madison was quite happy to see the huge mound of berry flavored ice cream she got.  We all got something there, taking it back to the condo to finish it off.

We've been packing today, filling up the cars and getting ready to go.  But it's very difficult on Nana.  She doesn't want to be here.  She doesn't want to be anywhere right now.  She's breaking down frequently, inconsolable, emotional, and repeating things over and over again, asking questions over and over again, stating things over and over again, and despite all we try to say or do, nothing helps.  We have compassion, love, patience, kindness in our words and hope in our hearts, but nevertheless, she's pacing about, lost, repeating, muttering, speaking in cruel ways and then suddenly breaking down in tears over what she's said and done.  She's lost.

We prayed tonight.  We're praying for guidance, for peace, and for rest.